Chapter 3: 26th September 2009

Must Try Harder

Complaints Department
Vodafone Limited
Vodafone House
The Connection
Newbury
Berkshire
RG14 2FN

Sent via Royal Mail Recorded Delivery

Cc:
Facebook Community
Customer.care@vodafone.net
Customer Correspondence (PO Box 549)
Customer Correspondence (Balliol House)

26th September, 2009

Re:

Dear Sir,

Further to my previous two letters, I am pleased to say that I finally received a written communication from Vodafone 3 days ago, on Wednesday. Delighted I was when the post man offered me a letter with the words Vodafone emblazed in their red glory across the front. Oh I thought. This is what I have waited so sorely for these long days and weeks since my ordeal began. It will all be worth the hours of endless anticipation. The waking in the night. The waiting on the doorstep for the postman to come.

It was my welcome letter. A complete let-down. Something I have become accustomed to during my short stay with Vodafone.

However, I did take the time to read it – well I had nothing else to do. The first thing that struck me was the section headed “A note about your first bill”. This explains that I will be billed within 14 days of joining Vodafone. On the one hand I thought, thats excellent news – I never joined, so will never be billed! On the other hand I thought “Thats very different – when I spoke to Kim the other day she said that despite the fact I never joined I would not be billed until October 31st And thats more than 14 days from when I didn’t join. Its confusing not being a Vodafone customer.

...so I referred to the enclosed booklet you sent with the letter. It wasn’t much help I’m afraid. I paid particular attention to the section “Everything OK”. First of all, it explains that if I bought directly from Vodafone, I have 14 days to change my mind – and that within that time I can ask for an exchange or refund. The only problem here is that I didn’t buy – you took. So a refund would involve you un-taking. Or giving me back to my original supplier. Or would that be an exchange?

Slightly confused, I read on. I have to return my mobile to the store I bought it from with the box, accessories and manuals. But its not your phone? Fine you robbed my custom and my phone number – and you held a gun to my head and made me give you my bank details. Now you want my phone? When will the rape desist?

There was also a number for lost or stolen phones in the booklet – now that was tempting...

So, I thought. Where does that leave me.

I have been patient I thought. Curtious in the face of insults. Calm in the face of adversity. Relaxed in challenging times. Vodafone have done

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yup. Nothing.

Despite two letters, numerous phone calls and endless promises, I have still not had a single contact from yourselves. You never write, you never phone. Even Kim – your most senior representative did not call me back – even though she promised with all her heart.

So I did the honourable thing. I called to obtain my pac code to allow me to do your job and un-move me to Vodafone. I spoke to Trevor in Cardiff.

Trevor said that I should get my pac code by Friday. Maybe. But if not, call back and someone will have a look at why I haven’t. Maybe.

I asked Trevor why it took so long (Virgin manage to provide it straight away – over the phone). He explained that it took so long because Orange took a day or so longer. Hmm – an un-convincing answer I thought.

I also asked Trevor when I would be robbed. He said it would be on October 31st – just like Kim said. Your only letter to me seems to be wrong. No great surprise then.

Finally, I asked Trevor if there was anyone in the complaints department I could speak to. He said that no – there was no-one. I asked if there was any way of getting a response – since I already wrote two letters and got nothing back. He suggested emailing – apparently the email team have a guaranteed 72 hour response. (Haha - Whatever!)

So, Thursday 24th and another letter from Vodafone. This time I was not excited and although boredom set in part way through opening the envelope this feeling was quickly turned to mild amusement. The letter states that since my account is no longer on direct debit, it has been amended for payment via cash or cheque. And for that privilege I will be paying an additional fee of £3 per month, effective immediately.

Suffice to say – I won’t be. Sorry.

Friday 25th arrives. The day goes on, and on. Strangely, I receive no text message with my pac code as promised on Wednesday. My depression is such that I have now taken to creating imaginary friend accounts on Facebook, called “Vodafone customer service” and sending myself replies. If only you were as good as them.

...so around 8.00 in the evening I called your customer prevention team again.

This time I spoke to Jonathan in Cardiff. I am pleased to say that Jonathan took me to previously un-experienced levels of uselessness and failed to answer a single question. He simply explained that my pac code was not ready and that if I called back again on Saturday it would be.

The phone call lasted around 40 minutes before he very kindly hung up on me. During this time I asked many questions. Here are just a few:

  1. How can you guarantee that when I call back tomorrow my pac code will be ready? After all, the person I spoke to on Wednesday said it would be ready by Friday?

    I asked this question 9 times. I did not receive an answer.

  2. Can you have someone from Vodafone call me with my pac code – rather than me wasting my time again?

    I asked this question 18 times. Jonathan was not able to give a simple yes or no answer.

  3. Please put me through to your supervisor.

    I made this request no less than 19 times during the call. Jonathan explained to me that my case wasn’t important enough to need the attention of a manager, and besides, there were only two of them and they were’n available.

  4. Why didn’t I get a call back from Kim

    This was asked 6 times. He was un-able to provide an answer.

  5. Who is your manager?

    This too was asked 6 times. Apparently he is not only unable to put me through, but he also won’t disclose the name of the person I should be speaking to.

I am able to give the above figures with accuracy as the call was recorded by myself, as I will do with every call made from now on. I did explain to Jonathan that the call was being recorded. He said he was going to hang up as “It is illegal to record calls”. You may want to take your chap to one side and correct him on this – he is embarrassing you.

Furthermore, after denying that my letters were available for viewing, after 24 minutes letter no 2 magically appeared on the system in front of him. Even having read the letter he did not agree that my call should be escalated. I eventually had no option to accept that someone may or may not call back within 48 hours, and they may or may not be able to give me my pac. Although Jonathan also assured me (approx 26 times during the call) that if I call back tomorrow my pac will be given to me in 2 – 3 minutes.

Saturday 26th :

Un-convinced by Jonathan’s promises last night, I called 191 just before 11.00

I spoke to Ian and requested my pac code. Ian put me on hold.

After about 9 minutes, Ian came back on the line. He explained that the code has been generated, and that they can’t find it. He put me on hold again whilst he went off to look for it.

17 minutes in, and Ian came back on the line to explain that they had had a good look around the office, and they can’t find it. He did say he was sure it would probably come in the post. Maybe Monday, or maybe Tuesday. Maybe.

I said this was not good enough, and asked to be put through to his manager. He transferred me to the porting department.

At 19 minutes and 5 seconds into the call, I spoke to Terta (Apologies for spelling). She spent some time re-checking me for security purposes. Tedious as we already did that with Ian. She explained to me that my pac code had not been generated yet, I asked her to do this and she put me on hold.

At 25 minutes and 5 seconds, she came back on the line and explained that the code has been generated and that it had been lost. They too had a good look around the office and they can’t find it either. She too said it might or might not arrive in the post next week.

I explained this was not good enough, and asked to speak to her manager. She put me on hold.

After 38 minutes, she came back on the line and explained that she had now found my pac code. Apparently it had fallen down the back of the computer system.

I asked to be put through to complaints. She said there was no complaints department and that I would have to write. I asked her to confirm the address to write to. She gave me an address which is different to both that given on your “contact us” page on the website and that given in your code of practice.

You guys really don’t know what you are doing do you?

She did confirm that a manager is going to call me back by close of play tomorrow to discuss the issues I have had, as requested last night. I cant wait.

So this, my final well humoured letter prior to referring this case to my solicitors, and ofcom, I am copying it via Royal Mail recorded delivery to 3 different addresses, Email, and carrier pigeon. I expect a response within 72 hours as promised. As part of that response I expect to receive an offer of compensation for my wasted time and effort over the last 3 weeks, as well as for the illegal actions of Vodafone. The clock starts at the sent time on this email.

Yours Sincerely,

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