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So the conclusion? Well that wasn't the end, but we think the epilogue might be.
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Epilogue: 10th August 2010
The Apology
...a Final lesson in missing the point.
So here it is, the final letter of apology from Vodafone — as per Otelo’s judgement. Whilst it's hardly the most heartfelt apology ever made, it will do. However, in true Vodafone fashion, they still manage to demonstrate how wide of the mark their understanding is:
"In order for me to arrange for this to be refunded to you, please contact me on 08704 500005".
Firstly, we already know they have my bank details. Secondly, wasn’t it a fundamental part of my complaint that no-one ever called to deal with the issue? They could easily have called me to confirm my details — after all, they know my number...
Finally, in what I hope will be my last communication with Vodafone, I received my last bill, or as I like to call it, my final final final bill. So, as a final source of amusement, here’s how it reads:
Goodbye for now.
We are sorry to see you go. We hope you were happy with the service we provided throughout your contract.
At Vodafone, we’re confident that the quality and reliability of our service is second to none, because we channel massive investment into building a network that lets our customer make more calls from more places.
You’ll always be important to us
If you decide to come back to Vodafone for your mobile service in future, you can be sure of a warm welcome.
Thank you for your custom, we appreciate it, and wish you all the best.
...laugh? I nearly spilt my beer...